you know things arent right when

A jls song makes you question if you made the right decision, oh man.

happy.

29/01/2010

i hope it doesnt rain today, i havent got an umbrella

I'm shivering a little, the coach is rather cold all of a sudden. Sometimes I wish that I could stay on a bus all day long and watch the birds fly past the window and the trees and fields pass by.

wow

i feel pretty awful.

Sometimes I put my head under the water in the bath, and wish I could swim away...

take me away to a unexplored uninhabited island

My own insecurities have me becoming more distant from the world every day

On the bus to college, it takes me an hour so I thought I would start making use of this time. Its raining outside. I tend to ignore everyone else on these journeys, put on my music and stare out the window. We have a new bus driver and he keeps slamming on the breaks, I dislike this. The weather matches my mood right now. Its so strange looking back at what things were like a year ago, I've grown up so much, met so many new people and learnt so much. However when it comes to this whole 'new year , new start' malarky I think its a load of rubbish. You can change in a year, but just because its a new year doesn't mean things will automatically be amazing. I really don't know where I'm going with this. I just think that it was silly of me to think that 2010 would bring change so early. Hmm

3:33

Leave me alone.

Sometimes I think that I read too much into the birds. Somehow I find significance in their actions. I think too much.

6.59

I'm choosing to write on here because i know nobody reads this, yesterday a sort of relationship ended, well not a relationship, somebody that i took a fancy to and i decided there wasn't much point going any further. I was fine with it overall, but now i've become lonely, not because of this particular person but because i've realised being single really does suck. I've never had a proper relationship, all the previous 'boyfriends' or 'boys i've been seeing' haven't been real relationships. I just want something that lasts, that makes me happy, that works.

nobody reads this so i'm just going to post this, i need to vent. I hate the fact that i have hardly any girl mates that have the same interests as me, don't get me wrong i love my friends, but it would be nice to have a few more that have more i have things in common with.