I hate it when i'm put into a situation where i don't know what to say, i don't want someone to get hurt, but i don't want a friend to be angry with me. It's hard to reassure when you know the truth. I don't want to get involved, however i already am, without even choosing to be. I hate seeing people suffer.

birthday

I actually feel older even though its just another day. Last night made me extremely positive, i'm suprised that something i thought at first was trivial and frivilous, turned out to be helpful. On another note, i decided i'm ready to claim edge, so now i have. I'll probably get stick for it, but i'm doing it for myself so whatever. I spent some quality time with family which really meant alot to me. Just thought i'd update you with a few things, if anybody even reads this. Monday i met someone lovely, fingers crossed this time things will work out. Tuesday i went to Grantham with lauren & tess, wait in vain pulled out the show, however it was just nice to hangout with alex & will, i see those boys once in a blue moon. Wednesday was also nice, i really did miss my best friend, a day out of peterborough was definitley what we needed. Now i've sorted nearly everything out that was making me feel negative, feel like a weights been lifted. The end of the summer is looming closer now, I'm going to make sure i don't waste the next couple of weeks. So excited about Wednesday-down to nothing, bane, lewd acts & gold kids. I also need to complete my summer assignment by then. Wish me luck!

OH AND I ALSO GOT MY RESULTS,
1 A*, 3 A'S, 3 B'S & 3 C'S :D

i've been staying so cold that my hearts turned to ice.

3.24am

theres so many people that i want back in my life, the people that have hurt me in the past or caused themselves to be pushed out of my life. Theres certain people who i need back, i can't carry on holding grudges even if it wasn't my fault. I don't understand if i'm stubborn or just afraid. My money's on afraid.

I start college in under 3 weeks and this summer i feel like I've achieved hardly anything, It started off amazing i was so positive but in the space of a month i've lost my best friend, been messed around yet again and also i've now lost the little confidence i gained this year. Things can only get better, i mean, life's not totally awful, i just feel like before i can become happy again i need to address the issues that made me struggle to stay positive.

Please

Leave my heart as you found it.

short female pessimist seeks tall optimistic male to keep her positive and happy.
Preferably have blue eyes, cheeky smile and slight facial hair.
Any chance of this?

i'm not naive, i'm just stupid

stay cold hannah, stay cold.

people confuse me so much. You can't expect me to carry on how things were when its not the same. You can't expect me to run after you when i don't know where im running. You can't expect me to wait whilst you make up your mind because you never seem to come to any conclusions.

posi

Lost concepts of reality
Make loose the screws that secure my sanity
I take a look at my life
What it's all about
The answers bring me pain
And I want out

I pulled you close because the world failed us both
Always knowing nothing could stay gold
The navigator of pain points my way once more
I will always stay cold

You can't hurt me anymore
I stay cold forevermore

So alone
But you can't hurt me anymore

i'm sat here shaking with anger. I feel as if i could write paragraph after paragraph to try explain how i feel. To try even touch on how something so ridiculous has made me so angry is going to be hard. Here i go.


FUCK THE WORLD.


fin.

its time to

conquer my fears, destroy my phobias, stop with this paranoia, and stay cold.

why can't i just know where i stand, all the time.

Lauren Fitzgerald

Is an absolute beaut. I'm going to keep this short & sweet. I cherish our friendship so much, it's been since i was like 13 now. The time we've spent together especially over the last few months has been so good, she's become one of my best friends. I really respect her, she's like the older sister i never had. She doesn't fail to cheer me up when i'm down, Listen when i need to rant, Give me useful advice and help me keep up my PMA! One of my truest friends without a doubt xo

i think

it's time to start cherishing my youth. I've spent the past few months doing practically nothing, i need to make sure i spend my time wisely from now on. The concept of not caring about people who don't care about me has slowly started to sink in. Everythings going good for me at the moment, i don't care if i'm not liked by every single person in this city, i'm happy with the friends i have, my family are pure beauts & I met a really lovely guy a couple of weeks ago, I've been having butterflies constantly since. Life's good right now.