i'm happy for you, i'm jealous of you

time and age are not real, they simply enable us to measure how long we have left until we die.

the reason we fucking argue is because you cause the arguements, are you stupid or something?

The feeling of loneliness sets in once more, I'm past the point of wanting somebody, I' m at the point where I need somebody.

sometimes

i get this big smile on my face and this crazy feeling inside, this is always a bad sign.

i wish i was a crow so i could just fly away...

...i feel rather miserable and lonely. it's one of those days where you just feel like you're going to break down and cry. or is that just me?

tired.

you know things arent right when

A jls song makes you question if you made the right decision, oh man.

happy.

29/01/2010

i hope it doesnt rain today, i havent got an umbrella

I'm shivering a little, the coach is rather cold all of a sudden. Sometimes I wish that I could stay on a bus all day long and watch the birds fly past the window and the trees and fields pass by.

wow

i feel pretty awful.

Sometimes I put my head under the water in the bath, and wish I could swim away...

take me away to a unexplored uninhabited island

My own insecurities have me becoming more distant from the world every day

On the bus to college, it takes me an hour so I thought I would start making use of this time. Its raining outside. I tend to ignore everyone else on these journeys, put on my music and stare out the window. We have a new bus driver and he keeps slamming on the breaks, I dislike this. The weather matches my mood right now. Its so strange looking back at what things were like a year ago, I've grown up so much, met so many new people and learnt so much. However when it comes to this whole 'new year , new start' malarky I think its a load of rubbish. You can change in a year, but just because its a new year doesn't mean things will automatically be amazing. I really don't know where I'm going with this. I just think that it was silly of me to think that 2010 would bring change so early. Hmm

3:33

Leave me alone.

Sometimes I think that I read too much into the birds. Somehow I find significance in their actions. I think too much.

6.59

I'm choosing to write on here because i know nobody reads this, yesterday a sort of relationship ended, well not a relationship, somebody that i took a fancy to and i decided there wasn't much point going any further. I was fine with it overall, but now i've become lonely, not because of this particular person but because i've realised being single really does suck. I've never had a proper relationship, all the previous 'boyfriends' or 'boys i've been seeing' haven't been real relationships. I just want something that lasts, that makes me happy, that works.

nobody reads this so i'm just going to post this, i need to vent. I hate the fact that i have hardly any girl mates that have the same interests as me, don't get me wrong i love my friends, but it would be nice to have a few more that have more i have things in common with.