i want to feel lips brush against mine.
i want to feel arms wrapped round me.
i want to fall for someone that falls for me too.


it'd be nice :)

p.s. i need to invest in a diary.

this is going to be an interesting night

Today: Saturday 19 September

Quite an intensely emotional Saturday is in store, especially when it comes to romance. You may be suffocating a partner with your demands, though. Ease up a little and give people their freedom. You know how the old saying goes: if you love someone, let them go free. If they come back, they're yours - if they don't, they never were.

I'm happy right now.
I love the feeling after cutting someone loose that holds you back.
Only been at college just over a week but i'm enjoying it so much, i'm liking this whole fresh start business. Met some lovely people already, can't wait to meet more.
What i'm looking forward to now is;
Gravemaker
Alexisonfire
Halloween (being a zombie air hostess or a pin up girl)
Also i would like to add,  i hate liars.
I STILL havent figured out what i want to be when i'm older. If you've read my posts then you'll know that right at the start i was trying to get a slight idea about what i would like to aim to be. Right now i just think that i'd be interested in doing something either; to do with saving the enviroment, something in photography, something with animals. Just rough ideas really. Hmmm! But yeh, lifes good. Positive outlook.

done with you. time for a fresh start i think.  fingers crossed someone lovely will pop out of thin air.
unlikely. but theres always hope, isn't there?

grab my hand,
i clench my fist.
lean in to me
i reject your kiss.
your eyes glaze over
i hardly blink
is my heart still there
oh i dread to think.

my minds a mess, so confused, so complicated. Why can't this just be simple, why can't everything just be simple? Tonight was so good, but now i'm so confused. Lonely, puzzled and scared. Give me a sign, anything, please?

I hate it when i'm put into a situation where i don't know what to say, i don't want someone to get hurt, but i don't want a friend to be angry with me. It's hard to reassure when you know the truth. I don't want to get involved, however i already am, without even choosing to be. I hate seeing people suffer.

birthday

I actually feel older even though its just another day. Last night made me extremely positive, i'm suprised that something i thought at first was trivial and frivilous, turned out to be helpful. On another note, i decided i'm ready to claim edge, so now i have. I'll probably get stick for it, but i'm doing it for myself so whatever. I spent some quality time with family which really meant alot to me. Just thought i'd update you with a few things, if anybody even reads this. Monday i met someone lovely, fingers crossed this time things will work out. Tuesday i went to Grantham with lauren & tess, wait in vain pulled out the show, however it was just nice to hangout with alex & will, i see those boys once in a blue moon. Wednesday was also nice, i really did miss my best friend, a day out of peterborough was definitley what we needed. Now i've sorted nearly everything out that was making me feel negative, feel like a weights been lifted. The end of the summer is looming closer now, I'm going to make sure i don't waste the next couple of weeks. So excited about Wednesday-down to nothing, bane, lewd acts & gold kids. I also need to complete my summer assignment by then. Wish me luck!

OH AND I ALSO GOT MY RESULTS,
1 A*, 3 A'S, 3 B'S & 3 C'S :D

i've been staying so cold that my hearts turned to ice.

3.24am

theres so many people that i want back in my life, the people that have hurt me in the past or caused themselves to be pushed out of my life. Theres certain people who i need back, i can't carry on holding grudges even if it wasn't my fault. I don't understand if i'm stubborn or just afraid. My money's on afraid.

I start college in under 3 weeks and this summer i feel like I've achieved hardly anything, It started off amazing i was so positive but in the space of a month i've lost my best friend, been messed around yet again and also i've now lost the little confidence i gained this year. Things can only get better, i mean, life's not totally awful, i just feel like before i can become happy again i need to address the issues that made me struggle to stay positive.

Please

Leave my heart as you found it.

short female pessimist seeks tall optimistic male to keep her positive and happy.
Preferably have blue eyes, cheeky smile and slight facial hair.
Any chance of this?

i'm not naive, i'm just stupid

stay cold hannah, stay cold.

people confuse me so much. You can't expect me to carry on how things were when its not the same. You can't expect me to run after you when i don't know where im running. You can't expect me to wait whilst you make up your mind because you never seem to come to any conclusions.

posi

Lost concepts of reality
Make loose the screws that secure my sanity
I take a look at my life
What it's all about
The answers bring me pain
And I want out

I pulled you close because the world failed us both
Always knowing nothing could stay gold
The navigator of pain points my way once more
I will always stay cold

You can't hurt me anymore
I stay cold forevermore

So alone
But you can't hurt me anymore

i'm sat here shaking with anger. I feel as if i could write paragraph after paragraph to try explain how i feel. To try even touch on how something so ridiculous has made me so angry is going to be hard. Here i go.


FUCK THE WORLD.


fin.

its time to

conquer my fears, destroy my phobias, stop with this paranoia, and stay cold.